Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
