I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize