Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
