I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
