There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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