Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
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You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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