were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
