his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize