I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize