I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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