I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
