why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize