let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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