do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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