just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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