So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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