There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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