what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
