i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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