drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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