It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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