the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
