im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
