I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize