Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize