youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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