I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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