he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
