mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
