My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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