why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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