Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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