even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
