Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
