We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
