He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
