And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
