Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
