i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Little spoons don't ask big questions
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
