Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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