this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
