If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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