i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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