i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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