Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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