I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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