Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
