some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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