I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
