I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize