I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
