he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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