he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
