Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
