What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
