New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
