Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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