i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
