he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The best revenge is premature balding
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
