haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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