Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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